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Tuesday, June 26, 2012 Employment USA You are seeking employment with our firm? We are SSUC, Shit Shovelers United Corporation. We use Black & Decker's diamond tipped, teak stalked, double barreled High Performance Shit Shovels to cut through the most insidious mounds of turds the American Rich can produce. They eat Gold, for instance, for breakfast, and shit plutonium, at night.
You are responsible for shoveling, and redistributing all of this Rich American Shit All along the borders of the poor areas. You will be shoveling Shit All Day.
Compensation is 4.25/hour. No exceptions. You should be LUCKY to get this much Good American Pay. No Benefits. You will lie in this Shit if you pass out from the noxious fumes, Or are too tired to continue your Work. You will be subject to the most Clinical and Precise Training. THIS IS SHIT SHOVELING. This is The Most Important Job for all Downwardly Descending Americans in 2012.
You MUST have at least 10 Years of SHIT SHOVELING EXPERIENCE, using the Tap and Draw Method of Shit Shoveling for the American Super Rich, TDMSSASR. You MUST repeat this acronym as a Mantra, as you work Very Hard. No Education is Required. Only 10+ Years of Shit Shoveling Experience and a certificate from your night school, or community college for the TDMSSASR, is helpful In Seeking Employment in our firm.
You WILL be subjected to a life-long Extensive Criminal Background Check, including EVERY THOUGHT YOU HAVE EVER HAD. You MUST fill out our 666 jpeg JackBoot PDF and WRITE DOWN EVERY Criminal Thought you have EVER HAD, from age 5 on. If you FAIL to comply, you will be TERMINATED, WITHOUT PREJUDICE. The FBI, CIA, and Interpol Will be gathering all crimes you have committed, or thought about committing, and Documenting Each item, in our long 666 jpeg JackBoot Invasive Profiling Tool. You are being watched.
You will also be subjected to a LIFE-LONG credit history check dating back even to when YOU were in your mother's WOMB, BECAUSE YOU had something to do with HER spending Proclivities, and YOU will be allowed 1 mark, only. This invasive and EXTENSIVE Credit History CHECK Will also include CHECKING FOR just ONE LATE DAY PAYMENT, Anywhere. If you have EVER been ONE day Late, YOU will be Ineligible for hire.
Also, WE DO NOT LIKE LIBERALS. You MUST sign up with the American's for America Party and Stay with us for the remainder of your Life. You MUST ALSO sign up with the Jesus for Christians Party, and attend church Before and After all Shit Shoveling Work Days.
There are NO BENEFITS. We REPEAT: NO BENEFITS. NO SICK DAYS. NO HOLIDAYS. All those with an extensive education, i.e., Jr High School, WILL RECEIVE LESS PAY, at 3.87/hour.
Will you be posting submission on here or on your Facebook page?
ReplyDeleteTuesday, June 26, 2012
ReplyDeleteEmployment USA
You are seeking employment with our firm?
We are SSUC, Shit Shovelers United Corporation.
We use Black & Decker's diamond tipped, teak stalked, double barreled High Performance
Shit Shovels to cut through the most insidious mounds of turds the
American Rich can produce. They eat Gold, for instance, for breakfast, and shit plutonium, at night.
You are responsible for shoveling, and redistributing all of this Rich American Shit
All along the borders of the poor areas. You will be shoveling Shit All Day.
Compensation is 4.25/hour. No exceptions. You should be LUCKY to get this much
Good American Pay. No Benefits. You will lie in this Shit if you pass out from the noxious fumes,
Or are too tired to continue your Work. You will be subject to the most Clinical and Precise Training.
THIS IS SHIT SHOVELING. This is The Most Important Job for all Downwardly Descending
Americans in 2012.
You MUST have at least 10 Years of SHIT SHOVELING EXPERIENCE, using the Tap and Draw Method of Shit Shoveling for the American Super Rich, TDMSSASR. You MUST repeat this acronym
as a Mantra, as you work Very Hard. No Education is Required. Only 10+ Years of Shit Shoveling Experience and a certificate from your night school, or community college for the TDMSSASR, is helpful
In Seeking Employment in our firm.
You WILL be subjected to a life-long Extensive Criminal Background Check, including EVERY THOUGHT YOU HAVE EVER HAD. You MUST fill out our 666 jpeg JackBoot PDF and
WRITE DOWN EVERY Criminal Thought you have EVER HAD, from age 5 on. If you FAIL
to comply, you will be TERMINATED, WITHOUT PREJUDICE. The FBI, CIA, and Interpol
Will be gathering all crimes you have committed, or thought about committing, and Documenting
Each item, in our long 666 jpeg JackBoot Invasive Profiling Tool. You are being watched.
You will also be subjected to a LIFE-LONG credit history check dating back even to when
YOU were in your mother's WOMB, BECAUSE YOU had something to do with HER spending
Proclivities, and YOU will be allowed 1 mark, only. This invasive and EXTENSIVE Credit History CHECK
Will also include CHECKING FOR just ONE LATE DAY PAYMENT, Anywhere. If you have EVER been ONE day Late,
YOU will be Ineligible for hire.
Also, WE DO NOT LIKE LIBERALS. You MUST sign up with the American's for America Party and
Stay with us for the remainder of your Life. You MUST ALSO sign up with the Jesus for Christians Party, and attend church Before and After all Shit Shoveling Work Days.
There are NO BENEFITS. We REPEAT: NO BENEFITS. NO SICK DAYS. NO HOLIDAYS. All those with an extensive education, i.e., Jr High School, WILL RECEIVE LESS PAY, at 3.87/hour.
Tardiness WILL NEVER EVER BE TOLERATED.
thank you for your interest in Employment USA.
Hahahahaha, sorry.
DeleteI don't qualify.
And I could give
A
Shit
WHAT THA HELL?
ReplyDelete